Working World Continued:
If continuing your employment is not a top priority, but proving that you are Anti-Social is, I recommend the following ten step program. Note: these have been circulating the net for a while, I did not create them (though I wish I could take credit for it).
- Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the mouth.
- Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks...tell everyone how you're just kidding..and tell them that they are all a bunch of queers.
- Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard- then during the meeting put one finger in the air and make like you are hocking up a big loogie-then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the person next to you and say "Beat that!".
- Inform a male coworker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker", then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good "ass fucking".
- Always walk around with a big smile and keep one hand down the front of your pants.
- Answer every question asked to you with "fuck if I know!" then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race.
- Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts.Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hand.
- Run down the hall with your dick out while urinating all over and yell, "It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!" Then when it stops...look down and say..."Oh!".
- Ask to borrow someone's pen- bring it to the bathroom- stick it in your butt- return it and tell the person to smell it- when they tell you that it smells bad- be like, "It should! I had it in my butt!"
- Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it, tell them it's the fake plastic kind- when they try to pick it up, and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.
Back to work.
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